12am Ponderings in a Coffee Shop
“You are not yourself." This was the second person who was telling me this in a span of 2 weeks. When something like this happens, you don’t just brush it off. It sticks. You carry it with you. Like a stone in your pocket. Heavy. Impossible to ignore. What were they referring to? A flurry of unanswered messages? A lack of warmth and depth? Or maybe it is something quieter. Something harder to name. The way something that resembled happiness slipped out of the backdoor quietly. Without making a sound. “Your joy has been sucked out,” she said, her voice coming through a phone clutched far too tightly. “Talk to me.” I tried, but the lump in my throat made itself known in the silence that followed. “Some other time,” she offered. “Some other time,” I agreed, gratefully postponing my own unraveling. Later, with someone else, I said it out loud. Almost defiantly. “But I don’t want to give up. I want to fight. I want to prove I am worth my salt.” He paused, then aske...